How to kill other peoples' darlings OR How to break bad news to design teams

The field of UX is obsessed with empathy. Basically, a lot of UX articles seem to be: “how to get people to give a sh*! about how their product is affecting other people they don’t know.”

That’s hard work. And important work. And work that I wish didn’t really have to exist because everyone just knew to care about other people. But, as far as it’s needed, I’m glad it exists. Of course, it’s not always an empathetic blind-spot that is causing the problem. UX problems can exist for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with personal limitations with the people working on a product (to be fair). However, sometimes, in service to empathy for the user or the customer or humanity as a whole, UX Researchers must deliver bad news to designers, product managers, and engineers that their product isn’t good enough. It's not meeting the Minimum bar in MVP.

I don’t enjoy delivering bad news, but... I kind of do? When I discover an issue with a product that could end up being a big deal, I do get excited because that means I’m doing valuable work. It does mean I will have to build a presentation where I argue that a feature isn’t ready for release or that people did not find the product useful at all, or that a design has massive privacy flaws or the potential for bad press…but that’s a day well-spent. It’s a challenge in service of the greater good and a greater product experience. After all, that should really be the goal for everyone involved.

Delivering bad news to product and design teams doesn’t always make me feel like the enemy. Honestly, it makes me feel like the hero. Of course, as a former designer, it’s hard to hear that there’s an issue you hadn’t thought of, but that’s why research exists! You can’t see everything from the outset. Your first draft always needs editing, and your first iteration is just the beginning. We’re all on the same product team, so it’s hard when it’s your job to come back and tell people that they have to make changes. But it would be worse to not tell them, or to soften the findings to save egos.

Writing and UX have a lot in common. The famous Faulkner quote says, “In writing, you must kill all your darlings.” Likewise, in UX Research, you must kill all your designers’ darlings. Leave no assumptions unchecked. Leave no visual ornament that is getting in the way. All is up for questioning, and ultimately should be cut if found to not be useful. I guess the rough part is that we have to kill other people’s darlings. Doing that in a way that makes everyone feel like it’s just a necessary part of the creative process is what makes someone a great UX Researcher and a valuable part of the design team.

How to kill other people’s darlings OR How to break bad news to design teams

It’s easy enough to deliver bad news when you’re an outside consultant or an agency brought in to do research. They may not believe you, but at least they’ve paid you for the job. It gets more complicated when you’re a researcher who is embedded on a product team. It can seem like your job is to be an adversarial voice, which is all fine until it comes time for performance reviews, and when you want someone to sit with at lunch.

It’s a difficult thing to teach and explain, but it seems the UXRs who are best at this seeming conflict of interest are those with the most emotional intelligence. They’ve taken the time to build up relationships with those whom they will be giving ‘bad news.’ There’s a rapport that exists outside of formal research presentations. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” This should be the researchers mantra. Unless people know that you are a genuine person with good intentions who cares about the shared success of the team and product, they will be hesitant to accept any bad news. So make friends. Create a trusting team culture. So we can all kill our darlings together. Is that a dark way to end? Okay...So we can all build great human-centred products together! ☠️